Short Funny Jokes

Horny Toad
What's the difference between a toad and a horny toad? 
One says ribbit and the other says rubbit.

the alien and the puzzle
What did the alien say to the jigsaw puzzle?
''I come in peace and you come in peices!" 

cop
why did the police officer stink? Because he was on duty!!!!

How did the Germans win the war against the Pollacks?
How did the Germans win the war against the Pollacks?
The Pollacks threw the hand grenade and the Germans pickeu it up, pulled the plug and threw it back!

Skeleton
Whats The Definition of a skeleton?
 A stripper that went too far!

you're so ugly
you're so ugly that when you were born your mom turned and lokked at your dad she said "i should have just gave you head"

Cherry Tree
How does an ellephant turn into  a cherry tree?
He paints his balls red.

Michael Jackson At Wal*Mart
Why did Michael Jackson run to Wal*Mart? Because Boys' pants were half off.